Can't shake the feeling

I am a walking ball of emotion these days. And as often as I tell myself to calm down and take each day as it comes - I can't.
I'm expected to close on the house next week. All that's left is getting the insurance set up. I've applied online for quotes but have yet to hear anything. It's frustrating. I'm so close to being done and I'm so afraid something is going to put a stop to it. Michelle better be ready to fend off any road blocks - I've put too much money into this deal for it to not go through. Not to mention I've already packed a lot of my stuff.
I've also been hit by the reality of how alone I am. Not romantically - I'm kinda numb to that void - but socially. I have no friends. How can I go from being the girl everyone wanted to hang with to the hermit? It sucks. Especially now, when I need friends more than ever. Amanda is so wrapped up in wedding stuff. Jessica is completely out of the picture. I can't express how much this bites.
For some reason "he" won't get off my mind either. I thought I had "him" out of my system - but then I'll hear something about "him" or see "him" and I start wondering why things happened the way they did. I told Robert the other day that I won't find love. And now I know why. "He" was my one. Anything else wouldn't be good enough. Unless of course, by some grace of god, I am actually given the opportunity to make my existence known to Kenny Chesney. I keep hoping that if I tell enough people about my instinct (that we are supposed to meet), someone will say, "Well it just so happens that I know someone who may be able to help you out." Anything is possible.
I've been giving more thought to the 5 year plan. I think the Virgin Islands is definitely where I will end up. Why the hell not? Be where it's warm and sunny. And mom and dad will visit. Not to mention, I'm so used to being alone, the distance from home won't hurt.
Kim is coming in June. We booked her flight the other day. I'm so excited. We haven't seen each other in like 2 years! She's yet to come to Florida. We're hitting Cocoa Beach. Gonna drink all night and sleep on the beach all day. Get myself ready for Island life. I keep hoping that she'll get down here - fall in love with what Florida has to offer - and decide to move. She really is my best friend. The only person who knows me as well is "him."
There I go again! Damn.
Ok, so to wrap this up. I am praying for 1. the closing 2. a fat ass raise to cover my new purchase 3. that chance encounter with Kenny 4. everything from here until June 24, 2010 bring me a step closer to the USVI.

So Many Changes

So much has happened in the last month my head is still spinning from all the changes. My biggest news to report is that I'm in the process of buying a house. I can't believe that it's finally happening. I guess I didn't realize that I was capable of doing something that large on my own. No man. No parents. Just me. How empowering!
One good thing about the house buying - it's taking my mind off the being single thing. Actually, I've been single for so long now that I hardly pay attention to the fact. Watching Amanda and Ronnie plan their wedding kinda makes me envious... but then I tell myself that somewhere out there is my Prince and one day he'll find me. Until then - I'm setting my goals high and I'm off to win Kenny Chesney's heart. Crazy? Yeah, maybe. Seth says that if I can't get a normal guy how can I expect to get a guy of Kenny's caliber. Well - maybe I'm not meant for the common guy? Either way, if I'm going to think about a guy I want him to be cute and down to Earth. And since I don't know any "common" guys with those traits - Kenny is first in line. I guess what I'm saying is that when I finally find my guy I want him to be like Kenny. Kenny Chesney is my mold. And who knows - the common girl has been known to snag the famous guy before.
It could happen.