Patience
All I want for Christmas is patience!
I have none.
People irritate the hell out of me. The way they walk. The way they talk. The way they post on the internet. The way they drive. How is it that I have next to zero tolerance for my fellow man? What's worse, I'm only 25. What the hell will I be like when I'm 75?? Lord have mercy on us all!
I'm anxious to get my flight booked for New Years. I'm so set on going home that I think even if we don't book a flight I'll plan on driving up. I don't necessarily look forward to driving in snowy weather - especially since I haven't done it in almost 5 winters. But I really feel that if I don't make the trip then this talk between me and Chad will remain just that - talk. Not that I don't believe him when he says he wants to come here, but he hasn't seen me in 4 years... he needs all the motivation I can give him to take the plunge.
He called me on Sunday. It's the first time he's ever called on a weekend. Normally he has the girls and so he can't call - or he's busy working in his dad's shop. This weekend he got called in to work at the factory on Saturday and Sunday. I take it after 3 days of not hearing my voice or reading my emails he was ready for some contact. My mom and I had talked about his family over the weekend. She grew up with his parents and his uncle. They are sweet people and she doesn't understand why he would want to move away from them. She doesn't think it'll happen.
I told him as much. He says she just doesn't know the situation. I asked him if he's said anything to his parents yet. He says he doesn't discuss that kind of thing with them. Maybe I talk to my parents TOO much? He thinks I do.
So, since he didn't work on the snowmobiles like planned he doesn't have the extra cash coming in. But pulling in the overtime at the factory might still be enough. I've found a round trip flight for $217 - which is pretty good considering the time of year - but we have to jump on it before it gets too close to the holidays.
If we don't book then I'll plan on driving. And just to be difficult I'll stay with my grandparents - that'll show him I'm not messing around. Driving will require an extra day off work - but I'm sure that will be ok. I'll just make sure the runner is trained really well in my position.
Enough thinking about that. I need to wrap up the UPS package before they show up.
posted by k @ 2:09 PM
2 Comments:
I have been reading your postings and have a lot to say. You claim to want so much independence yet you are totally dependent on what some guy is doing or wants. You will never find the perfect man, he does not exist. No matter how happy the people that you envy most SEEM to be they have just as many issues as you do. You should give them a break. You say that you are not critical of your cousin who chose to have a family,that you claim she has dreamt of, it seems as though you bad mouthed her decision to have two children and attempt to be happy. Let it go. You do not know how long you have in this world and you do not know how long your family has either. SOOOOO Don't blow it with them. When it is all said and done they are going to be all that you have left and when your number is called, they are going to be there. Don't think that they don't know what you say about them and what you feel and that it does not affect how they feel about you, because it does. You should count your blessings for the people that try to love you and be there for you.
Do you know me?
You make some pretty bold statements for someone who posts as "anonymous."
First of all, I don't depend on some guy. I have always taken care of myself. I've had no choice. Anyone who knows me should know that. Hell, my longest relationship was 6 months and that was with a married man. I don't know if you've ever been involved with a married person before - but you CAN'T depend on them for ANYTHING. So, don't accuse me of being dependant. I pay my bills. I make my own decisions. But I am tired of being single. And Chad is a great guy. And the fact that we have maintained a rather reliable relationship (considering the circumstances) for the last 3 months speaks volumes about what COULD happen between us. I have yet to experience the true happiness that can come from being with someone who generally cares for me - and I'm not about to pass up the opportunity - even if it's coming from thousands of miles away.
Second of all, you (rather you really know me or not) don't know a thing about my family. Even those close to me don't know the whole truth about me and my relationship with my family. I have always been one to only let people see what I want them to see. Perception, my friend. It's not always the truth. And given the things I've been forced to deal with in my lifetime - I've gotten pretty good at conning people into believing what I want them to believe. Let's just call it survival skills.
I have never bad mouthed anyone for the paths they've chosen to follow. In fact, if you actually read my posts clearly you'd see that I've never passed judgement on someone for the path of life they've chosen. I may not always agree with it or have thought it was a path I'd have liked or chosen for myself. But I have NEVER cut someone down for their decisions. Living my life is hard enough - I sure as hell don't need to be concerning myself with how others live theirs.
As for my family knowing how I feel about them. They know. I know they know. I've never been one to hide my feelings. Suppression solves nothing. In fact, the ill feelings I've had towards members of my family are usually resolved once I make my feelings known. But I wouldn't expect you to know that from a few posts on the internet. My cousin (you know, the one I supposedly bad mouthed) and I were never close growing up. It wasn't until I was in Florida and almost 22 or 23 that we made ammends. And now when we see each other we greet with hugs and enjoy our time together.
Thank you for posting your opinions on my blog. But I'd suggest that you take a little more caution in your observations next time. You are drawing some strong ideas off something you only know 45% about.
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