Butterflies

I have had butterflies in my stomach non-stop for the last 3 days! I am so excited for this weekend, I can barely contain myself. But that's another post, another day.
I spent last night with "him." We had a great time. We talked and talked, seems we never run out of things to say. He told me all about going home, seeing old friends, catching up with family. I could tell he had a good time. I asked him if he missed me. He said yes. I wasn't sure whether to believe him or not, but I'm going to stay optimistic and say that yes, he did miss me.
Man! I can't get him off my mind. He called me Monday to say a quick hi. Then on Tuesday I asked if we could go out to celebrate my birthday. He said that if not Tuesday, then definitely Wednesday. Well, Wednesday it poured all day, and I was so afraid that the rain would send him home. So, I called his cell and told him that he HAD to stay, that it was our only chance this week to see each other. So then at 5:30 I called to see what the plan was. I asked him if he was staying, he said yes, I told him he was making my night, he said that he had plans to do much more than that (naughty boy), and I told him he better (naughty girl!).
He called once he got to the room. I met him out there. When I walked in we each went to our own beds. No kiss hello, no nothing. That isn't how we are - we are friends before lovers - and it seems to be what keeps us together. We kicked off our shoes and settled in for a catch-up session. That's what I love about him. We can so totally be ourselves with each other. It's so refreshing. He told me about his trip home. I told him about our plans for this weekend. Then Kim called. I made it to his bed during the phone conversation and don't you know that little booger started kissing on me! Naturally, I ended the call with Kim and got back to playing "catch-up" with Him. (naughty - but I love it!)
We went to dinner. We talked about our moms, our friends, a little about work, about us. It was relaxing and much needed. The waitress asked if we wanted dessert. He looked at me, I looked at him, and I KNEW we were both thinking the same thing. Who needs dessert when we have each other? We went back to his room and watched a little TV. Around 8:30 he said something about needing sleep. I asked him if he was kicking me out. He said no. I told him he was, that I was his little hooker and since he was done with me he was tossing me out. He told me I knew better than that. And hearing him say that, I realize that I do.
He isn't like other guys. He doesn't feel the need to show his feelings - or to even voice them. He just relies on you to know it. To feel it. He won't hold my hand in public. He rarely even touches me in public. But while we were watching TV he put his hand in my hair, and when I locked fingers with him, he didn't pull away. It's those special little things that let's me know he cares. Its when we lay on the bed watching TV and he wraps his arms around me and I feel like nothing can harm me. That's love to me. Not jewelry, or money, or trips. Not even sweet words. Just touches. Gentle, well meant touches.
He walked me to the door, kissed me several sweet times, then wished me a good trip. He promised me we could get together next week to finish our "celebrating" and told me to behave myself this weekend. I realized, him telling me that was his way of saying, "even though we have our own lives, I really don't like thinking of you with another guy." And that makes me love him all the more.
As I was taking the elevator down, I thought my heart would explode. I loved him so much at that moment. And I know that if he should be taken from me again I'll probably die. There is talk about him getting transferred with work. That scares the hell out of me. I told him they couldn't take him from me, especially since I just got him back. He said we'd wait and see what happens then have to adjust accordingly.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Cupid has mercy on us.