Never Thinking When I Should

I got a phone call last night that really sent my head spinning. A friend of mine from "back home" called. The last time we had spoken we'd gotten into a fight over some petty thing I had done that he didn't agree with. Harsh words were exchanged - he hung up on me - a few nasty IMs were passed - and then silence for almost 3 months. Considering we had been talking almost every day for the longest time... it wasn't what either of us expected. But we're both stubborn. And since I'm a thousand miles from him it was easy to let my life here suck me in so that I didn't call to check in with him.
Anyway, he calls. He chews me out for being a bad friend. Which I admitt I was. But I tried to explain to him my reasoning. I'm the type of person who aims to please. I try to make everyone in my life happy with what I'm doing or saying or wearing or dating. I NEVER live for myself. And it just so happened that my fight with my friend came at the same time pressure from work was hitting me - my folks were on my ass - my friends here were showing their true colors - and my personal dating life was going to shit. So when it all broke out I threw my hands up and walked away from all of them. It was so much easier to cut them all off than to try and deal with any of them.
Things are getting better. I have to kind of keep that selfish mentality to hold on to what's left of my sanity. And anyone who wants to be a part of my life will have to accept the fact that I'm done doing for them. It's hard. I feel rotten. But then I think of how they all made me feel for so long and I know that I'm doing the right thing.
As for my friend, he means more to me than he'll ever know. And after talking last night I feel pretty confident in saying that we're going to be ok. My quote of the day supports that.
K

Quote of the day:
"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." --anonymous